This is a weekly advice and opinion column written by my mother, Fariba. If you have any questions or would love an opinion on something, please feel free to ask in the comments below.
Not long ago, I was approached by a young woman in our family who asked me what my I thought was the “secret to my long and successful marriage?”
I paused to think for a few moments, then responded that it’s really a combination of things. You must have maturity and some wisdom on both sides, be able to act reasonable and fair, be understanding and be compassionate, and above all, be committed to the promise of marriage: “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death…”
I believe the basis of any successful marriage is that commitment. If we see the commitment to marriage as a tree, then the wisdom, fairness, understanding and passion are the necessary food components for that tree.
If any of these components dwindle, the tree’s growth slows down and the tree cannot thrive. If any of those components go missing, the tree won’t last long and will eventually die.
I can say that not every day is perfect in a marriage. Throughout my own marriage, my husband and I worked day and night to stay true to our commitment to each other.
But that’s why we were able to have a successful marriage. We made sure our “tree” was always healthy and growing, never depriving it of the necessary components it needed to last throughout the years.